Mar 31, 2010

How Are You?

Hi! This will be my very first post that I will be posting with zero pictures. Yep, you got that? Zero. Zip. Zilch.

I've been realizing some things about myself. Sometimes I think I use pictures to want to get my blogger's attention or as an insecurity that you won't read my posts. I also bold words like this so I make sure you at least read some of my post. I of all bloggers understand the rush of a day and how hard it is to get through all of the amazing blogs out there! So I try and make your life easier.

However, what I realized is that I shouldn't be afraid of rejection and pleasing makes me lose site of why this blog is here and how I can love and embrace others and their blogs. This is why I never make comments on how many "followers" I have because for me that is not what it is about.
It's about community.
Sharing with one another.
Reflecting and caring.
Not getting sucked into a popularity game.

Speaking of the word I never use in the popularity context, aka followers... (ha ha)
if you have ever felt ignored by me, it was not my intention. I appreciate all of your feedback and am taking the approach of being more active on Twitter to interact and keep up on your blog when time allows (which I try to do often.) Sometimes I wish that there was enough time in a day to visit all of your blogs because yes I love hearing how you are doing that much. Many of you touch me on a day to day basis and I am so thankful for that.

For me blogging is a creative outlet not only for myself, but to connect with people. To ask how they are and help them through life's problems and good times with a support system on the internet, which I think is so rad!

But I can't get caught up in who is reading my blog or that blog - this is losing site of what is important. Let's face it...I think we all have done this at least once or twice. What is important is not always being focused on myself, but the others around me in the blog world and in my personal life.

  Lately I have been thinking about how important it is to really love people. I mean really and genuinely love them. I am making it my life goal to when I ask someone how they are, to really look in their eyes. It is a glimpse into their soul. Life is too short not to ask someone how they are and how you can help encourage them. It is so important to be there for one another because life is short Ocean Dreamers.

The problem with me being so "others" focused is that I place expectations on others to be there for me as I for them. Not necessarily in the blogosphere, but in my personal life lately. For example, if I ask someone how they are I expect the same from them and the genuine response is not always reciprocated. Hence, I feel rejected when this has happened in my relationships in real life. It's frustrating but I have to remind myself not to be insecure about this. This stems again from the feelings of being rejected or not wanted and I think we all struggle with this daily. I'm being honest here. It's a "me me" society that we are living in. Myself included.

So the point I'm trying to make is that even though I was raised to truly and genuinely care about others, I am not going to always expect that in return. Love to me is giving but not always getting something in return. That's just how life is. I don't want to get let down by my own created expectations of others. Oh, and I am going to take care of myself too! It is important to not only care about others but find some "me" time too to recharge the batteries. You just can't give, give, give. You run out of juice!

I hope I just made sense! :P Jumbled thoughts, sorry!

So here's to community.
Loving others.
Not being sucked into a popularity club
in our blog world and in daily life.
and to being...
genuine and real with people.
(That I want you to read.) :)

Thanks for listening.
~ Your Ocean Dreamer


  1. Great post! it is SO hard not get sucked into the popularity game. We all want to be liked and wanted. It is human nature. But it is important not to make popularity the focus of your life

  2. The "pictures" in this post are the most beautiful I have ever seen here at Ocean Dreams.
    Love that you keep it real, girl, love that.
    I have the same theory, if you don't want to read what I enjoy sharing, you don't have to follow me.
    You are one amazing young lady...
    It is funny, you have inspired me to kidnap "The Captain" this weekend.

  3. This is a great point, I haven't been blogging that long but I can see how pleasing the reader can get in the way of just expressing yourself. I noticed that some people just want followers and don't ever really write anything thoughtful or meaningful on the comments sections. Which is fine, but when I visit another blog I like to think about what they are expressing and truly connect and comment on it. I think if you put out the right energy, you will attract like minded people who truly care about and are inspired by what you are posting. Great topic! xoxo

  4. I completely agree, 100%. I think some bloggers continuously talk about how many "followers" they have (hate that word, btw), and how many comments they get, etc for popularity reasons. I'm blogging bc it's fun, and if people read, than they read, and then I get to make new friends (like you!). But the "game" gets overwhemling sometimes, so I don't "play"! :) Loved your post. :)

  5. Wonderful post. I don't ever want anyone to feel neglected if I can't make it to their blog and I finally had to let that go. My blog is about sharing with my family and friends...all my additional friends are a huge added bonus! It's a tough line to hover sometimes.

  6. Darling, I'm with you all the way! I believe sometimes bloggers forget to express themselves and just drown in this sea of wanting to keep getting followers and forget about what truly matters. And, I can totally relate with your idea on "loving people", I believe that with the technology that is now available to everyone, this world can be a better place if we just sit and write a few words that can touch someone and make a change.

    Beautiful post!

  7. And the day you do no pictures I do a picture post! LOL! Hahaha! Love to read your blog......its not your BOLD LETTERS, its not your pictures..its you blogging! :)

  8. You are just absolutely precious! LOVED this post. In fact, I would go as far to deem it as one of my favorites from you. Love your genuineness and sincerity. You're right, you don't have to post pictures to get our attention. Love when you do though as you choose some lovely images that inevitably reflect your personality, You're just a beautiful heart and soul that has graced this blogosphere with her presence and I love reading what you have to say, Really and truly. Your comments always bless me as well. Thanks for this- you're lovely. :)

  9. love this....BLOG because you want to! not to be cool.

  10. Hm...what to say to this aside from the fact that you are one of the best people I know (and I actually mean KNOW, haha)?

    Eh, I think I'll just leave it at that.

  11. Absolutely great post girl. Even without the usual pictures. I love this blog community and you are right it should never ever be on how many followers we go and all that. It's not a contest after all. :)
    Love your blog, and always love hearing from you. :D You are amazing girl, never ever forget that. :D


  12. I agree so much! It really is a "me me" society, and I hate it to so much. I love nothing more than making someone else happy. It's hard for me to take pleasure in things where I am the only one benefiting. I truly wish that I could do more for people. You're an inspiring gal, Sierra.

  13. Great post.

    I am a people pleaser and will put others before me way before I put myself first. It is something I am working on, but it isn't easy to change the way you have always been!

  14. I love your post and I love that it is a picture-less post! #1 you are an excellent writer and I really enjoyed reading this post. I agree with you about "blog world" and the whole popularity thing. I blog because I love it and I read blogs because I love to know what is going on with other people and I love to help others and to listen to others. I love that you feel the same way.

  15. You go girl... just be real and true to yourself :)

  16. You may not always expect it, but you should know, I will ALWAYS be there for you. You know I've not had a good couple of days, but if you need to talk about anything, feel free to get in touch with me whenever. I like you just as you are. You are one of the nicest people on here, and I like your pictures. I never took that as you compensating for something, but I always felt the pictures added something extra to your blog. It's hard for me to find pictures sometimes that go with my blog, but you always have pretty ones. i like you for you. Just keep on doin what you're doing. I like that you're real and honest....and I'm glad we're friends :)

  17. Ahh everything you said is ABSOLUTE TRUTH & I'm so glad that you also see the problem with people seeing things as a "popularity" contest, when in actuality, its is SO much more than that to some people!

    Love love LOVE it missy!

  18. I agree with you on the love thing: it's about giving and not expecting anything in return, although with real love, you do get something in return.

    I am more than fine without the pictures and bolded words. I like hearing from YOU, and sitting here reading every word.

    Thank you for being you, for being kind, for checking in, for offering support and encouragement. Here's to blog friends!

  19. I LOVE this post! I totally and completely feel ya on this, girlie. I used to post every single day and I felt like if I stopped, people would stop reading. And then I got so busy with work and couldnt participate on blogger as much (b/c they blocked the ability to comment) and I felt like if I couldnt comment ALL the time on others' blogs, then I might as well not blog b/c I didnt want anyone to feel left out or something... Then I kinda went "wait, I blog for ME. I should blog and comment when I CAN, but not b/c I'm afraid I'll lose my blogger friends..People have lives. They understand we all cant blog as much as we'd like" So I've tried to adopt a more "Jax-centric" blogmentality. And it's worked out great! I absolutely LOVE reading your blog...and I feel like we'd be GREAT friends if we lived in the same city... regardless as to how much each of us comment, blog, post photos, bold terms, etc... You're an awesome girl and I will always keep reading, love!

    Way to keep it real! :) XOXO!


    sierra, you nailed it! i never mention my follower count either because like you said, that's not what it's all about.

    not that i don't appreciate it because i totally do! it's humbling actually.

    and being genuine and real is so important. thanks for stressing that.

  21. I loved this post, Sierra <3

  22. I am so with you about this entire post... I really feel like blogging is a fantastic community... it is always there for us when we need it. Sometimes we go away, sometimes we need the community of people more than other times... but most importantly, there is always someone there to respond to us. I love finding out how others are doing as well, keeping up with them, hearing about their triumphs and tragedies. I feel like we have a lot to learn about each other. I am so happy I met you... I love reading what you write & I love that we have formed a friendship because of this blog. I will never forget the sweet dog wedding gift you sent to me, that was so sweet! You are a great human being!

  23. Ohhh I completely understand you. Sometimes when work swallows ALL my time, I feel so left out, like I'm an outsider, cause I haven't read any blogs, so I don't know how others are doing. However, I think is very important to dedicate sometime to yourself, is not being greedy, is just something one has to do!!! :D

    kisses my loverrrrrrr XOXO

  24. Wow, this is so, so true. I found that in the beginning, when we first started the blog, it was all about statistics, followers, comments. But now, none of that matters anymore! What matters is connecting with people. We've met so many lovely people through blogging (like you!!!) and getting to know them and chatting with them is the BEST part of blogging. :)

  25. Great post, Sierra, and you are so right! It's hard to get sucked into that game and keep up with commenting, etc - but we should definitely blog because we love it and it's fun! And - I call them "blends" - blog friends - not followers:) Hehe. Thank you for always focusing on what's important:)

  26. great post! I did a picture free post today and it felt great - I read it enough times through so I was happy with just that :)

    sometimes its hard not to get caught up in all things blogging but your post was a nice reminder that I do it for me not everyone else.

  27. I wish everyone had the same mentality. I've been burned by people not revealing who they really are until it's too late and they are able to hurt me. No more! Seek out genuine people to give your love to. Fabulous post!

  28. I'll toast to that! I know what you mean with the popularity games with blogs! But I've found through my blogs (dividing and reforming, etc) that the less I write about what I think people want to hear and the more I write about what I want to write about, the more fun blogging is! (I know that's kind of a "duh" thought too!)
    And this definitely is a me me society, but don't turn into one of those me mes because we could use more people who think of others in this world (I'm trying to be like this!)!

  29. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said here. It's hard not to get caught up in the numbers game but I try to make real connections and truly care about others (even when it's not reciprocated). This makes me even more happy that I'll get to see you soon and ask how you're doing in person! :-) XOXO

  30. I love this and I love your blog. And I think you're totally right. I feel like I definitely need to get back to what I used to blog about and stop worrying about all the others so much.

    Popularity can be an evil thing sometimes.

  31. This was a beautiful post, and although I love your pictures I am glad that there were none on this post. We try to visit as many blogs as possible and we could never have the time to read every single post that is out there...but I do try my best to really read the posts of the blogs that I do read. It really hurts my feelings when people post a comment and it is clear that they did not read a single word of my blog. We write to let go, we write to express our happiness, to vent, to free ourselves. It is nice that someone cares enough to read, but it makes you wonder how many people actually read your blog.

    This was beautifully written and you are one of my favorite bloggers out there. Thank you for this.

  32. Brilliantly written! I care so much about what other people think that I become a little too selfless sometimes.

    But I love how the blooging community is so great and accepting. I love how I've developped friendships with people from all over the world.

  33. Love this post! Just like everything else in life, it's so easy to focus on the statistics, rather than the quality. You definitely don't need pictures to entertain your audience. You have great things to say :)

  34. Great post ! So true and inspirational. :)

  35. Love your insight , a spot on representation of what most of us bloggers feel at one point in time or another but it isnt a contest ..infact the whole point is getting to read a whole set of lovely new blogs and reciprocation without expectation :) ..
    and girl , your blog is fabulous :)

  36. so true, thanks for the reminder and for sharing your thoughts :) you're awesome!

  37. Sometimes, pictures are worth a thousand worths.However, sometimes, there are things that pictures can not show.And sometimse not even words can do it...I thank you for puting this out here...i've been through this moments.Why isn't anybody paying attention to my blog?...and so on...And i realized i made this blog for me and not for a commercial use...i do not exepect anything in's me out there...who wants to read, then they should.who wants to just comment to be commented's their problem.
    Thanks again.
    Have a happy Easter!

  38. Great post! You should first and foremost have this blog for yourself! You should never feel you have to express yourself in any other way except the way you want. This blog is for you! :)

  39. Really cute! I never gave much thought to that but I'm sure I do the same as well with the pictures and the words. :) Great of you to recognize this. I'll read no matter- in time between wedding stuff of course :)

  40. wonderful post! i love the pictures, but I love your words so much more...keep up the great work!


Thanks for the comment love! Candy sends you and puppy hello (aka barky bark)!