May 10, 2010

One of Those Days...

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - 
for you'll be criticized anyway. 
You'll be damned if you do 
and damned if you don't." 
Eleanor Roosevelt  

Do you ever feel misunderstood
or that you have certain expectations
put on you by others?
I've felt that way a lot lately.
Sometimes with certain people
it's hard to please them. 
You have to walk around on egg shells.
You feel like if you say or do something
that "bothers" them then you 
are in the wrong and they
are the only person in the right.
Heaven forbid if they are wrong.
If I encounter people like this,
most often I try to get away
to a safer place where I feel I can be me.
Sometimes I can't though,
I may encounter these people
in my daily life and have no escape
unfortunately so I just have to roll
with the punches...
Now I understand that not everyone
is going to understand me.
It is not a perfect world that we are 
living in and not everyone is going
to be on my side or be kind.
I don't understand that and it
frustrates me. I wish everyone
understood me, but I know that
is almost impossible.
I was raised to be kind, understanding,
and resolve matters when they
arise. With some people - 
I feel like if I try to communicate
it is very difficult and I am the bad
guy who wants to get issues resolved.
I try to not criticize people,
I try to listen to them with where
they are at in their lives
and empathize or sympathize
with their situation.
I'm not defensive, rude, or
inflict my expectations of how
I would handle a situation on them.
I don't tell someone that they
are going to hell if they are sinning.
I try not to be prideful, though
I never claimed that I was perfect.
We each handle situations differently
and that's why it's important to
listen and not judge or assume
they are in the wrong if they don't do
it exactly how they want you to solve it. 
I get so tired of people like this.
Why can't people just understand and
not inflict their negative thoughts on you?
Love you and not make you feel less
the person than you are?
I know we all encounter people
like this in our lives,
and not even our closest
family members will always
understand us.
I think that those will always 
be the hardest situations I have 
ever had to over come -
feeling unloved, unappreciated, and
misunderstood.
I think the root of this problem
is selfishness, pride, and judgment.
What right do we have to judge others?
Judgment to me is inflicting your beliefs
on others and making them feel lower
than yourself, and I think that is not ok.
Even though I'm not Jewish,
I loved how this site described judgment:

"I believe we can't truly judge someone 
"unless we've arrived in his or her place." 
 And since we can never be in exactly 
the same place and life circumstance 
as another person, we are never 
allowed to judge anyone.
But this doesn't mean we should be so open-minded 
that we blindly accept anyone or anything. 
We can't judge a person, but we can judge actions.
Even when people make mistakes, 
we can still see the best in them, love them, 
and care for them in spite of their mistakes. 
Only God can truly judge a person, and 
His judgment is unique to the individual, 
not based on a formula." 

I couldn't have said it better myself.
Obviously I'm not going to let
others walk all over me and accept
everything, however I can love them
and be there for them.
I would expect the same of others for me.

How have you felt when you were judged?
It's hard having thick skin sometimes...
I'm perfectly imperfect and okay with it! 

P.S. I realize I am really behind on your blogs.
Good news - my project is almost done!
Post on it coming soon.
XOXO,

36 comments :

  1. This is such a good post, Sierra! I've been feeling and thinking a lot about this lately, and it's just ugly. It's ugly what some people feel entitled to and feel they can do, and it's ugly what some people suffer from at the hands of other people.

    Why can't we all just get along?

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  2. i love this post.
    i've been judged many times, over and over again.
    these days i'm much more confident. i have the people who love, care and respect me to thank for that. i've grown and learned a lot in the past few years. although, i really struggled in high school. spending lunches in the bathroom because some people were just so mean. it took me a long time to move on from how people used to treat me. people judge and bully and are rude at any age. it's really sad. surround yourself with the people that mean the most to you and respect everything about you.

    i hope you are okay and having a good day my sweet friend!! i just luv ya bunches!! i think you are amazing! have a great night luv bug!!

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  3. Always such great posts you do Sierra. This is another one, I think we can all relate to this being judged. I have been judged so many times for just being a different type of person but can't let it get us down.
    That's the fabulous thing about believing in God, He loves us for whats inside not what we look like.
    Have another great week.

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  4. Amen to that!

    Um, pun intended? ;)

    I love you. Don't change. These people are ridiculous, insecure and probably jealous of you. Seriously. Think about it.

    And check your text messages. <3

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  5. Great post sweetie. I think the root of all of that is jealously. People just don't know how to control that emotion and inflict hurt and pain on the ones they are most jealous of because of it.
    Hope you get out from under those that make you feel like that. You're wonderful!

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  6. I love this post. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I truly believe that the only people who judge others are insecure with something in their own lives. You seem like such a positive, upbeat person who wouldn't harm a fly! I hate when people make others feel so down! Here's hoping that your week gets brighter.

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  7. I think the root of many evils is found in "selfishness, pride, and judgment." Thanks for the touching post.

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  8. so completely love this post!!! it is perfection and that quote?!?!?! oh my goodness i absolutely love it!! it is everything i've ever wanted to say but could never verbalize!!! thank you for this post!!!

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  9. Everything you said was so perfectly well put. I have only just ended a friendship due to them feeling it was okay to belittle me. I have forgiven them in my heart but I will never put myself in that position again. I am worth too much to question myself and my morals. I pride myself on being a good mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and just because someone is having a bad day does not give them the right to make you judge yourself. I now know who my real friends are as a result of their inability to contain and extinguish their thoughts before they are verbalised.

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  10. I know exactly what you are saying. People like that bother me. I try to distance myself from them, but like you said, it is sometimes impossible. Ugh.

    www.ramblingbrooke.com

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  11. this doesn't mean we should be so open-minded
    that we blindly accept anyone or anything.
    We can't judge a person, but we can judge actions.
    Even when people make mistakes,
    we can still see the best in them, love them,
    and care for them in spite of their mistakes


    I love this part and I've always felt that way about people. :)

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  12. Thank you for this! I thinkink I really badly needed to read this. I have really judgemental and critical aunts who can never be happy for me, or nyone else, and it's just so hard to even see them as they pick on me constantly!

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  13. I love it when you post with lots of pictures! They give this "happy" to your post!
    XOXO

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  14. You always have the best, thought-provoking posts! I try not to judge people either; there's such a fine line between judging and deeming someone's actions as wrong, but I think it's ok to recognize what this person is doing is wrong as long as you don't judge them for it. Does that make any sense? I've had people in my life that made me feel like what you said-make me feel less than the person I am. I agree with what you said-I think this negativity of some people arises from their own selfishness and their need to push others down due to their own insecurities. Also, some people just can't handle people as nice as you, so they try to make you feel bad to make them feel better about themselves. Sometimes you can't avoid those people, but anytime you encounter the negative, remember the people who love you for you. I think you are such a nice person and never let anyone make you think you are less than what you are. I have to say that, because I'm right there with you. I'm dealing with what someone did to me four years ago shaping who I am, making me feel less than who I really am with their negativity towards me, but I have to try and remember there are people out there that love and respect me for me, and try to forget about the people who hurt me...even though it's hard sometimes. I like you just the way you are! :)

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  15. Excellent post! Your blog is such a joy to read.

    Have an excellent, stress and "mean girl" free day :)

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  16. Love this girl. Are you okay?! Just wondering. I've been feeling like this a lot and been thinking that I'm just plainly misunderstood...from a to z, every single day. That's why I think I lost friends here. They judge me for who I am. I'm me, with my ups and downs, my California tongue, and my way of living (all good, promised). It's me. I'd be lying if I'd say I wasn't. It wouldn't be me. However, that's what I think I have to do if I want to keep those friends close. But do I?! No. So, it's been tough to let go and find peace and strength. I am alone and it feels ugly at times...but I also believe it's what we all have to go through at some point in life.
    Granted, it would be so easy if we all would get along. No judgement, no hating each other, no lying, no unhappy feelings and moments. Wouldn't it be dull and boring then?! Guess we'll never know. :(

    Don't change girl. OK?!
    Have a fantastic day hun. :D

    xoxo

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  17. Oh sweet Sierra, this could not possibly be more timely. I've been in the midst of a very heartbreaking and unfortunate situation. I know things have been said about me and I worry WAY too much about what people say and think about me. It's horrible and is something that eats at me contunually. So much so that I will go out of my way to accomodate and be nice to someone who I feel has a problem with me. I just want to make everyone happy and be everyone's friend. However, this does not always work. We're all going to be judged at some point and have our feelings hurt. It's life. I'm learning to deter my focus off of what is hurting me and onto what makes me happy and the people who love me.

    It's hard though.

    I LOVED this post. It spoke volumes to me.

    You're amazing, beautiful, sweet, wonderful, so wise and just an incredible and introspective person.

    Thanks for all of your sweet comments. They ALWAYS brighten my day!!!!

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  18. Great post! loved the pics:D

    Yes I have often felt judged unjustly by many who never took the time to know me. Some who do know me have also judged me. I realize that judgmental people behave that way out of their own insecurity. They must find something wrong in others to feel better about themselves. So I then remind myself that I am love, I love to love and beloved and they can keep their negative energy!!

    mwah mwah
    smooches,
    Sassy Chica

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  19. we judge because of how we were raized.. at least from what i've picked up on. you know coming from utah, that we are sooooo judgemental here. you dress to impress the girls - not the guys. you are ALWAYS being watched.

    but when i went to new york - not ONE judgemental thought went through my head. i LOVED the culture and the different styles. it is the only place i've ever been that has given me that feeling.

    does that make sense?

    obviously we don't have the right to judge others and we know that karma is a bitch and will come back and bite us in the butt for being judgemental..

    i hope that you don't feel judged anymore and that you have a better week love.

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  20. I love this post... it's like reading my own thoughts and feelings. You are a good person my dear and I admire you for that. You are not trying to be cool like the others but you are being YOU... so real. I can see feel what's in your heart.

    Don't change... I love your heart. xoxo

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  21. Great post! So thought provoking. I love Mean Girls (the movie, I am not one) because Rachel McAdams was in it!

    Love the blog. So glad I found it.

    :)
    Marcie

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  22. Your posts are amazingly inspiring. You should seriously be an inspirational speaker

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  23. This is such a great post. I don't know why some people feel the need to be so negative and judgemental and horrid. It gets nothing accomplished and only makes life miserable. Sigh.

    I'm sorry you have to deal with people like that, hon! You're too sweet to encounter stuff like that.

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  24. Very insightful post! I've been in instances where I've had to walk on eggshells and not be able to communicate things because the other person is too sensitive, and if I'm too bold, I'm deemed a meanie. Hope things get better with anyone you may have conflict with. xo, mel

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  25. i guess i can't really comment because i do judge. but hey at least i admit it. it's not out of hatred...rather i tend to see things in a different perspective because of what i've been through and what i've lost in life. i'll just leave it at that.

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  26. I love how you're such a good hearted person, Sierra. Not everyone is like this. Somehow people just put their guards up so much, it's easier to have bad thoughts on people and just judge rather than try to keep their thoughts clean and try to observe others even more.

    I'm glad you're not like that.:)

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  27. Oh, adorable blog! :))
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    http://fraupixiedust.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-first-giveaway-make-up.html

    <3

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  28. Good post, lots of great thoughts all over here. It is hard because we all naturally judge but making a valiant effort like you do- to not- is a grand trait. Sometimes people are so cruel about certain things that it makes me wonder what is wrong with them :( I truly, truly try not to judge people as well, I give it my best shot (unless they're famous, then they're fair game!)

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  29. Oh such a good post my sweet, stay strong and hoping you don't have to encounter too many 'stressful' people.
    xoxo DJ

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  30. love love this post xxxxxxxx

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  31. Oh, you always concoct the most amazing, thought-provoking posts imaginable. I absolutely adore this one.

    Being judged hurts. It completely leaves you with this detached feeling from everyone and everything and makes you want to curl up into a ball and just be alone.

    I find that the number one way to block such negativity is to surround yourself with people who support, love, and care about you. Individuals who don't feel an innate desire to rip you apart. And for those who do...turn a blind eye and deaf ear upon them. As long as you are strong you can overcome anything - even nasty words. :)

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  32. You was speaking from the bottom of my heart...I have a similar situation like this with someone in my family...and you know what? I've realized that I have to let it go...just focus on my things and let it go cause anyway I'll go crazy. Take one day at the time and focusing all good things around me instead of keep on wondering what's going on in other people's head....

    I have a favorite quote which I think suits here very well: "There is nothing wrong with you"

    Hope you're having a great week so far my dear friend.

    Cheers: Evi

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  33. Hang in there. I've found that unhappy people are only happy when they're dragging other people down. Don't let them!

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  34. love love love this post. some people can be very hurtful, but just forget about them! you are too fabulous to put up with any negative energy!

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  35. I know what you mean! Concerning others judging me, I've stopped caring! Maybe it's because I'm in high school and I realized that I won't ever see these people again, but after dealing with idiots making their own rude judgments of me, I've gotten over it!
    Stay the way you are, don't change for anyone! People are always going to talk, no matter how nice you try to be.

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  36. I think you are right on with what the root of the problem is with this! and yes, if we lived in a perfect world we wouldn't have to deal with this...these types of people but surely we do and probably will have to forever!

    As time goes on, we learn to love who we are regardless of what others think. So just be confident and in time we weed these types of people out of our lives. I know sometimes they have to stay in our lives in some level but I'm learning to just tune them out!

    People have issues. A lot are insecure. Just be proud of who you are and know that kindness always wins out in the end.

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