Jun 28, 2010

Honesty

Honesty.
I'm not talking about integrity,
even though by far that too is 
an important part in relationships. 
I'm talking about honesty
in regards to being outspoken in 
how you feel in a kind
and constructive way. 
Not only with others,
but most importantly with yourself.
It's important, this honesty.
This past month I've done 
more self discovering
than I've ever done 
in a life time.
Hurt sparked a calloused me,
and even though I was tempted
to build up walls and not let people in,
I learned that is not the way to live.
Even though I would love for life to
always be simple, no conflict,
all flowery and white like these shoes,
it just isn't so.
All I know is that my heart was hurting
for a purpose. I needed to learn that it's okay
being who I am and I don't have to make
any excuses for being me.
God created me for a purpose and with hope.
Do you know that for most of my life 
I have been avoiding conflict at all costs?
That I was afraid of what others may think?
That I thought that if I spoke up with how
I felt that I would be rejected and looked down upon?
That to me was more of a fear than speaking up.
I was living in the shadow of what I thought
would create a perfect world where
there would be no hurts and no pain.
Boy I was wrong...
In one month's time I've learned
that I have to be honest with people.
Not be defensive, rude, or unkind.
Just be honest and voice my opinion.
It's okay that someone may disagree.
It's okay that someone may even stop being 
a friend to me even though I thought 
they were going to stick by me.
It's okay that I may not see 
eye to eye with everyone.
I will no longer be a door matt.
I will only be me and it's okay.
Because without honesty and being me,
I cannot be true to who I am.
No wonder I was a bundle of emotions lately.
I became afraid of fear and all that it entailed.
I no way wanted to figure out how to resolve
conflicts that all seemed to be thrown at me
from all different directions.
Seriously, I had conflict after conflict!
I felt I was doing nothing wrong, but
I know I'm not perfect so I can't always place blame.
However, I now know to be 
even more real and true.
It's so important!
Respect yourselves Ocean Dreamers!
Don't let all of that stuff get bottled up 
inside of you Ocean Dreamers.
Find a voice, your voice for that matter.
Clarify things, voice how you feel,
love others, and thrive just by being
you in the process.
I became a wreck after years
of holding it all inside.
Believe me, it's better just to take
situations as they come and just be you.
The tides of the ocean may be pushing
you be someone even better than you are now.
Pushing you to believe in yourself and make no
excuses for your beliefs or the person you are.
Don't be afraid to show people who you are.
Speak up, be assertive, and self discover.
People can't read your mind.
For years I've also been a people pleaser,
(Are you surprised? ha ha)
afraid that if I don't always try my very best
that I will disappoint those around me.
You know they never expected me to be perfect?
It was all false expectations I put on myself.
I don't always have to be perfect!
What a concept and I'm still a work in progress
in this area... easier said than done. ;)
This may sound cheesy but
do you know that beyond every 
heart ache is a rainbow? 
In the mean time it's okay 
to feel pain and hurt, 
because that is what will lead you 
to discovering who you are.
You don't have to have 
everything figured out.
Sometimes conflicts, hurt, 
anxiety, and hard times
can be a blessing in disguise.
You trust, hope, and love a little bit more.
Honesty is so important in relationships,
not only being honest to those around you,
but being honest to yourself.
Love yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Be true to who you are.
Once you start to discover who you are,
Don't ever look back...
You were made for a purpose. 

All photos are from my tumblr!

XOXO,


30 comments :

  1. My husband told me last night that I am too opinionated!! UGH!

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  3. That was really beautiful,thank you. I think everything you wrote was very human and perfect in so many ways. What you wrote really touched me.I found out someone online is trying to make me look like a bad person,at first I was upset to the point I had tears in my eyes & now I actually feel sorry for the person. You can't make everyone happy,all you can do is be yourself,treat others with respect and be true to yourself. Thank you so much for writing this blog,you made me feel so much better :):)

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  4. Yes! I'm glad you are finally standing up for yourself, better late than never :) I'm sorry you've had a rough month but I know you're seeing the silver linings!

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  5. This is such an awesome post. I completely agree with all you've said!

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  6. Yes being honest with your self is so important. And it's good to be honest with others in a nice way, some people really need to take that into consideration when trying to give criticism. You are looking at it in a great way!

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  7. Just because you dont have the same opinions as other people doesn't mean you aren't as perfect as they are. If we all had the same opinions there would never be change and improvement in the world.

    It's ok to disagree with your friends and family - just agree to disagree!

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  8. That is so very much like me ~ My husband always tells me that I want to live in a world full of daisies ~ I like my daisy filled world ~

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  9. Thank you fo sharing this. I completely agree, it's so important to be honest to everyone around you, but it's so much more important to be honest to yourself.

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  10. There are certain situations where you have to act and speak in a particular fashion, but when it comes to your friends or to potential friends, you should always be yourself. If they are meant to be your friends, they will love for who you are. In the long scheme of things, they will be the ones who one day you will say about them, "we've been friends for thirty, forty or fifty years. They will be the constants in your life. Others will come and go, but they will be there and because you were "yourself" they will be the ones you turn to to share life's ups and downs.

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  11. Beautiful post. Putting up walls and not letting anyone in is so easy to do- I am definitely guilty of that. But being honest with yourself is something that can be so hard- you are absolutely right. Your outlook and attitude towards looking within are motivating!

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  12. So true! I know we kind of touched on this last night, but you're absolutely right. Love you, girl. xo

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  13. Well said dear.But it is always the same thing for me.Okay, i am doing wrong by carrying too much about other's wishes and by fearing their thoughts and reactions and not speaking up for myself.But when i try to be honest to me i tell myself that, maybe, the way i really am or i try to be would bring me nothing good.So i end up fighting between what i think might work for me and what will definetly work for me if i try my hardest, but this is just a normal path.And now i feel sorry for writting it all here...I am glad for you having discovered yourself, for the fact that you are now accepting the way you are.Sincere congratulations.You might have won the greatest battle, just like e e cummings said in that picture...

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  14. What a beautiful and heartfelt post! You are such an inspiration and every word you said really is true. I feel like a lot more people (young women, in particular) need to be true to who they are, rather than try to be someone else simply because they want to be cool or they are ashamed of their different opinions...

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  15. Living in fear is no way to live! I commend you for your courage! Thank you for sharing that :)

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  16. I have spent too many years trying to avoid conflict, and ended up only hurting myself, and my confidence. I'm learning to overcome that, and be more firm & vocal about what I think...in a kind way of course. ;-)

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  17. that's a great learning experience! it's hard to be honest, but if said in the right way it can do wonders. for yourself and for others x

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  18. That was amazing and beautifully written. Thank you Sierra. You know I think I'm similar. I hold back and when I do happen to get passionate about a subject people look at me weirdly.

    I've been a people pleaser and I too know that I must stop trying to meet other people's expectations and do what God's has put me on earth to do.

    Jason himself said I compare myself way to much to other people instead of focusing on what I can do. (He's a smart cookie that one..lol Thank God he was put into my life).

    Thank you Sierra! xx

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  19. I loved this post. I needed to read it at this point in time. That's amazing that your doing so much self-discovery within yourself. You need to know who your are & be honest with yourself. It is okay to have flaws & to be honest with other people. I have a few conversations with individuals that I have to do. I will be honest. Thanks for the reminder dear!

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  20. Oh I LOVE this post! I used to be shy to and not speak up, but I've learned I have to b/c no one else will do it for me:-) Now I may speak up too much, BUT I'm happy and have no secrets or with-held emotions. It eats away at me!

    Beautiful and raw, love it!!!

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  21. HONESTLY, I love your posts because they are so HONEST. You write so beautifully and say things that are so touching!

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  22. Best.Post.Ever. Thank YOU for always being so open and honest with us!

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  23. Such a great post hon. Glad you're finally standing up for yourself. I hope things pick up for you!

    Don't forget to stop by my blog and donate to the ASPCA.

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  24. That bit about the rainbow is SO true. I found my rainbow!

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  25. Ahhh - this is a struggle for so many. thank you for sharing and being vulnerable to the positive side of honesty, while understanding it can come with some stinky stuff too -- although, that is "okay."

    Hang in there through the tough days -- beautiful ones lie in the near future -- just make sure you look for them! :)
    ><>

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  26. Your words coupled with these photographs is just the most gorgeous thing ever. I find that I am unable to lie or be dishonest at anytime given the fact that I feel so guilty when I do. As they say...honesty is the best policy! :)

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  27. Hi beautiful, this post is full of wonderful writing and expression, I'm so happy for you that you have the ability to write what is on your mind and heart! Sometimes it is easier said than done, but you're right, we have to embrace ourselves for who we are and cherish the fact that we are all unique with our own special gifts! (((HUGS!!!)))

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  28. Just beautiful. I'm glad you're discovering how to be the person you want to be :)
    Thanks for sharing this with us!

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  29. I'm the queen of not wanting to hurt people's feelings...I wish I had the courage to be honest. This is beautiful and gives me inspiration to do so.

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