Feb 14, 2011

what love means to me on Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!
Yesterday, before my girlfriend and I headed 
out for a girl's night out, aka dinner and a movie,
we stopped by her grandparent's house to give 
them their meds and to say hi. I hadn't seen
them in a while but I realized that a lot had 
changed. Her grandpa is currently suffering
from dementia and some other health problems.
Her grandma has lost a lot of weight due to the
stress of taking care of her husband and growing older.
Her grandparents are both in their 80's.
My grandparents are also in their 80's but
are doing better health wise; time
will only tell and show more challenges as
they continue to age as well. It saddens me
to think about losing my grandparents but know
it is inevitable someday.
My heart went out to the elderly couple because
it was apparent that they were both holding on,
and trying their best to deal with their health issues
and to also live out the rest of their lives the only way
they know how: by loving one another.
They are currently both anxious to meet
their Lord and Savior in heaven. 
It really put things into perspective for me
watching them interact with one another and realizing
how much their life style has changed since
I had last seen them. How quickly things can change!
They have grown old together, and it made me 
contemplate how it would be as an
older couple towards the end of my life - 
after my children have had their children and 
life has changed so much.
Imagine being married to someone 
for several years {try 30, 40, 0r 50}
and then all of a sudden you age,
you start getting gray, and you start catching
illnesses more often, you break bones more easily,
and perhaps your spouse suddenly gets dementia
or heaven forbid Alzheimer's. To be quite honest,
this is what scares me the most
{aka losing my memories}
even though I know my life is in God's hands 
and I don't have to worry. It's still scary to
think about though - I try not to go there in my mind.
This whole scenario that unfolded in front of me
yesterday really made me realize what love is all
about even more. Love is not always fireworks,
flowers, candies, or materialism in general.
I think Valentine's Day allows people to get
too caught up in materialism when in fact
they should be worrying about what really matters.
Being there for someone when 
your loved one is sick,  might be dying, 
is going through cancer,
or some sort of illness, etc., 
is what truly is at the heart of love.  
My friend's grandma is sticking by
her husband even though he 
rarely even says her name anymore. 
Imagine being married to someone
for several years and all of a 
sudden they forget your name?!
Love is loving that person, 
despite the fact that they
may not even remember you 
when they are gray and old.
Scary, but it could be true some day.
This entire scene before me reminded me of an 
actual scene out of The Notebook.
You know how I truly realized that BK is the
guy for me? His actions of love. He stuck by
me when I went through my health scare. 
He was there every step of the way. He was there
when I cried, was scared, and he comforted me.
He honestly taught me what love is all about.
For that I am truly grateful. I strive to show people
the kind of love that he continues to show me
in my own life. I only pray that when someone
is hurting and going through a hard time that 
I can be there for them, because we all go through
struggles and we all need someone who loves us
just the way we are! 
So what is true love to me? It is...
Loving someone for who they are.
Developing a kind of trust that no one can break.
You may hurt one another but you know
how to forgive and not let wounds fester.
You are there for someone when they
are hurting, aching, and breaking.
You smile, laugh, and cry with them.
You tell them you love them and mean it,
not to get something or manipulate them.
You are selfless - you put their needs before yours.
You don't divorce them when times get tough.
You take care of them when they are gray and old.
You help them remember you even if they forget
who you are - that is a true test of love.
I hope this, Ocean Dreamers, helps remind you
what Valentine's Day 
{and every day for that matter}
is all about.

Sending my love to you all my lovely bloggers.


XOXO,

26 comments :

  1. Lovely way to expose the materialism of Valentine's Day!!! You're so right and honestly, there's few things like an in-love, senior couple to remind us of that. I always love on Sex and the City when they go to Atlantic City for Charlotte's birthday in season 5 and there's that little scene where Carrie is on the boardwalk and overhears that couple talking on the bench- like "you and your blue sky", I hope you remember it because otherwise this doesn't make much sense, haha - but it's so romantic and so sweet.

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  2. I tell you what, I love love love this post.

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  3. Great post!!! My grandma had Alheimers for over 10 years and my grandpa took care of her by herself until the very end when he had a nurse live with them to help with things my grandpa could no longer physically do. I always knew how much they loved each other, but seeing him take care of her was incredible. He still talks about how much he loved/loves her and how lucky he was that she chose to marry him. So cute!

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  4. I'm so glad you chose to write about your friend's grandparents for your Valentine's Day post; I think it perfectly sums up what today is all about. I do my best to try to keep that kind of love at the forefront of my life. I don't always succeed, but I know that love is always kind, patient and forgiving, so I must be that too and press on.

    Happy Valentine's Day!

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  5. I love this post, babe<3
    Such cute photos :-)

    http://julia-louise.blogspot.com

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  6. This post was so beautiful! I agree with each and every word. I love my boyfriend because of what he does & how he makes me feel & how is there for me. =) I hope you and BK have a wonderful lovely valentine's day!!

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  7. Maybe you know, but I don't like this day today. Sure, I have a very soft spot when it comes to all kinds of romantic/love/flirty etc stuff but this day to me is just an excuse for so many out there to finally "go all the way out" to express their feelings aka love. Every single day should be Valentine's Day...flowers, little notes, spontaneous gifts, whatever...it shouldn't be on 2/14, it also should be on 2/18 or 3/3 or any other day...because love is infinite and has so many ways to it; it's sad sometimes that people think it's just the flower/chocolate/card or fancy dinner today that needs to be special. :( Yes, I'm bitter. ;)
    Na, but seriously...it should be every single day that we tell people we love, trust and care about them!

    Ok, to sum it all up. Loved your post, as always.

    Happy Valentine's Day!!!
    Miss ya girl.

    xoxo

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  8. I fear the same things you do. My mom had dementia and it was a long slow goodbye. I will never regret all the long drives back and forth to see her, even if she was asleep during some of those visits. My dad ended up with a stroke and in the nursing home with her. He sat by her side and held her hand every day until the end. True Love!

    The love they gave me unconditionally was the the love I cherished and still carry with me in my heart!

    p.s..I finally got to see your vlog and you sound just as sweet as I thought you would!

    xoxo

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  9. LOVE, love, looove this post! Thank you for this. I am so glad you have learned through BK what love truly is. I wish everyone was so lucky. I am just so happy that you are.

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  10. What a moving post! Losing loved one is def scary. I just lost my great grandma at 103. While she was blessed with an extremely long life, it's also almost a curse. She outlived her husband who died 25 years before her (and never remarried), as well as three daughters, and grandchildren. I think her strong faith got her through it.

    It's def important to hold the ones we love close to us.

    Happy V Day ♥

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  11. I think my comment messed up so I'll try again :-)

    What a sweet post! I completely agree with your description of love. I know beyond a doubt that if JD and I were faced with a hard/scary situation, we would be there for the other, no matter what. Thank God for HIS love and for blessing us with human love that reflects it! xoxo

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  12. It's always so sweet to see an older couple still in love. What a nice post. I hope you had a great Valentine's Day!

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  13. What a perfect Valentine's Day post. This is beautiful.

    I wish our society was more respectful of the elderly. They are our history. They paved the way for us.

    When I was a reporter, my favorite feature stories would be those about older people. Their stories (whether it be about WWII or how they met their future spouse of 50 years) always riveted me.

    And those couples who manage to stay together after all these decades are magical. That is such true love. :)

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  14. oh my goodness me. You just touched my heart immenseley! Such beautiful, deep and meaningful words. I totally agree with you that that's what love is all about. Wow! You are so wise :)

    *big hugs*

    x
    the sydney girl

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  15. this is an amazing post..it actually reminded of me of my parents... they, too, are a wonderful example of true love...married for 34 yrs and still going strong.. been there for each other through all the highs and lows of life... such a beautiful thing! thanks again for posting this!

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  16. WOW.. nice pics.. Lovely pictures..

    Salwar

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  17. such a sweet post! my parents have been married 31 years and i can only hope and pray that my future marriage will be as great as theirs. happy belated valentines to you! xo

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  18. what a beautiful post! it really makes you appreciate what you have!
    lovely blog too!
    please visit mine sometime!
    love
    amy
    x

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  19. Oh Sierra, this is such a lovely post. I like the way you reflected on love and growing old with the person you love. When you are committed or marry to someone, you should always support each other. Like they say in wedding bows for better or worse.. in sickness and in health...Love should be forever. xoxo your friend Rocio

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  20. This is heartwarming.. I hope everyone realises that; unconditional love is all that counts :)

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  21. That was such a beautiful post about what is really important. And it's true we get so caught up in the materialism but it's nice to step back and just appreciate. x

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  22. Awe what a sentimental sweet post! I loved what you wrote. Hope you had a loved filled week doll xoxo

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  23. I look forward to growing old with someone. Good job BK! I know that he was so good to you when you were having a hard time and that's what makes him special and unlike most guys. You found a good one.

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Thanks for the comment love! Candy sends you and puppy hello (aka barky bark)!