Yay!! I can't believe I'm here on Sierra's fabulous blog! It is so pretty over here. Well, in case you don't know me, I am Jennifer Fabulous from I Know, Right?.
My guest post regards a somber topic, I'm afraid.
You see, I am 27 years old and I already know six girls my age who are getting divorced.
Wanna know the details? I'll give you one hint: Facebook.
It happened to me five years ago.
I wasn't married, but this is my story:
I was in a serious relationship with "James." (Names changed to protect the guilty). We had been together for six months, when I started to notice a random girl, "Liz," writing on his wall. It started with friendly comments and then they got flirtatious. She also commented on his photos ("you are SO hot" was a common phrase). When I confronted him about it, James laughed and said Liz was some random girl who added him as a friend. He didn't even know her.
A month later, James broke up with me. An hour later, he was listed in a relationship with Liz.
One year later, I finally got the whole story from James. Apparently, Liz was browsing through guys in our city and came across him. She thought he was hot and added him. Not caring he was listed in a relationship with me, she started commenting on his wall and his photos. Then, the messages started. She wrote him that she was lonely and sad and didn't have anyone to turn to. The messages grew longer until they started getting romantic.
Within the next five years after my break up with James, I would encounter seven more incidents similar to mine. Some highlights: A coworker got divorced because a random college girl started messaging her husband and eventually stole him away. A high school friend got divorced because her husband met another girl in their new town using the site. A college acquaintance broke down sobbing at a Starbucks to me about her now-ex fiance secretly messaging his ex-girlfriend.
And at this moment, I know six girls in their twenties getting divorced because of a Facebook-related incident.
That's a big freaking deal.
Right now, there are dozens of churches across the United States banning Facebook from its members, citing it is a leading cause of divorce.
A recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 81 percent of divorce attorneys have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years. More than 66 percent of those attorneys said the No. 1 site most often used as evidence is Facebook.
Another recent survey by Divorce-Online.co.uk of more than 5,000 petitions says Facebook is mentioned in about 20 percent of divorce cases.
There is even a popular website Facebook Cheating which specifically deals with this phenomenon.
I don't know about you, but this gives me chills. This is the stuff historians are going to be talking about in 100 years.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think Facebook is the actual cause of cheating. It is simply a tool that makes it insanely easy. It provides people, who may not have cheated otherwise, with a temptation no other generation has had before.
Scary, isn't it?
I'm not a marriage expert by any means, but I know several happily married couples who have a system that may work. Here is my advice based on them:
Know your spouse's Facebook password and give him yours. I'm not saying you two should check each other's facebook profiles every single day, scrutinizing every detail for guilt. It just means you two have nothing to hide.
That way, you can enjoy connecting with friends and family on Facebook, without the worry.
Obviously this advice isn't for everybody. I know how uncomfortable it can be, having even innocent messages to your bff read by your significant other.
But it works for some.
What advice do you have for couples regarding Facebook? Do you know any relationships or marriages destroyed by the site?
PS. A big thanks to Sierra for letting me guest post!