Jun 5, 2011

when you discover that you're finally growing up

Picture this. You are sitting at a table filled with relatives when a relative begins telling a loudly inappropriate story that you would rather not hear. You glance around to see if anyone else feels the same way and mostly everyone is wildly entertained. Thinking to yourself, why don't I just go along with this and pretend like I'm entertained, you decide that finally in your adult life, you don't have to pretend. You are now at an age where you can express your opinion, and you may or may not care how others may think of you afterwards. Respect is important and handling the situation appropriately is important, but staying truthful to you is also mostly important. By the way, this is just an example, I'm not saying this exact situation happened to me. :)

Have you been in a situation like this before? It's interesting. This year I'll be turning the older age of 27 (did I really just say that?!) and I'm beginning to feel, well, really old. Like me, you may begin to realize without a shadow of a doubt that you are inching your way up to thirty. And along with thirty, you finally begin to realize that you are an adult. You are making your own decisions. You have formed your own beliefs. Living your life the way you believe and think is finally more important than pleasing your family, friends or loved ones.
I'm not a rebellious person by any means. My parents raised me with good manners and a Christian upbringing. I never strayed from my parent's principals and I still to this day believe in everything I was taught. Through the years, however, I began to form my own opinions on certain things. Now, my political views might be slightly different, or my faith may differ in some circumstances. I'm turning even more into my own person. I'm an adult.
You've also become an adult when you realize...guess what...your parents aren't perfect. How dare I say that?! For almost my entire 25 years of existence I never questioned my parents. I believed in everything they said and did, and thought they were the epitome of perfection. I've come to the harsh reality, kidding here, that no, they aren't perfect. You know what though? That's quite alright. I don't want perfect parents, nor do I have to agree with everything my parents say and do. I'm not saying that they have done bad things, (because we all have really,) I'm just saying that we all have a right to form our own opinions, judgements, and become who we are. I Sierra, define what I believe in. Not my parents. Not my friends. Just me. I'm becoming more comfortable in my own skin.

For most of my life I let what others said about me define me. I let what my family members said about me define me. I wasn't letting God and me define me. Do you know how important that is?! To reach inside of yourself and discover who you are?! Vastly important. Hugely important. Some people never grow up. Some adults never grow up. I've realized this about some family members lately. I may not support everyone's decisions, but it doesn't mean I love anyone less. It just means I am an adult and I care what I think of me. I shouldn't care of what others think of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. You should care to a point. You need to be respectful of your family, relatives, and people you hold in high esteem. You also want people to be proud of you, but you want to stay true to you. If this means making a choice that you know is right, even if someone may disagree, then I say stick to your guns. I dislike it when I come home wishing I would have said something about a situation I felt strongly about but I didn't voice my opinion. Feeling that I just disappointed myself. That I just let someone take advantage of me when I should have told them how I truly felt. Ever felt that way?
We all are constantly in a learning curve called life. It's when you discover that you're finally growing up is when you begin to question life, your job, or perhaps other decisions you have made. Maybe another life changing event is beyond the horizon. That's good. You are on your way to making sure you are who you want to be. You need to find out who you are. Once you have found what makes you tick, grow, and achieve, never, ever, back down.

22 comments :

  1. This is such a great post! I too am inching my way up to 30 and sometimes I feel it's downright scary! Like you said, I have formed my beliefs and sometimes I miss being at the age where I don't have to have all the answers, ya know? But at the same time you are right - it's exciting to be my own person now completely. There is a freedom to not have to be expected to live exactly how my or Eric's family think we should live. No one ever said that your family will define you, actually isn't the point to become your own self? I love how understanding my parents are about it, and they always tell me - we would never pressure you to do anything or make you feel guilty for not attending any family event. We understand you have your own life and responsibilities but we are always here for you if you need us. Thanks for allowing me to ponder this more, lovely! Such a great post!

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  2. How thought provoking! I'm getting very anxious about getting older, and now that I don't necessarily go along with everything my parents say, it's really different. It puts me in an awkward situation because I live with them though.

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  3. What a beautiful post as we can all relate. It's validating maturity is a characteristic that we hope to grow with as we get older!!!

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  4. I love this post! When I turned 25 I had a huge quarter life crisis. This year I turn 28!! :O

    I've been unhappy with my life as far as work and this really inspires me to make a positive change. Thank you! :)

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  5. I love this post! It really resonated with me - thanks for sharing!

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  6. I agree!! We're the same age so I definitely hear you. Sometimes it can still be hard because you're going up against people who are always going to be the superior to you (as in older relatives) but you're right, you have a right to feel respected too.

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  7. Such a fantastic post Sierra. I do agree and I think I'm starting to really grow up now. Finally after 26 years. So many things that I'm learning too. I can see what I want to do with my life and it's great.

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  8. what a fab post girl!!!! im glad you are realizing these things! honestly, i didnt really feel adult until i was 27 (ok...i still am 27, but at the beginning of turning that age!). i realized at that point that I made my decisions and no one else did. i learned to not CARE what my parents thought of my decisions for i was old enough to make them on my own... :-) hope you had a wonderful weekend <3

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  9. I love this post, Sierra. It's so true. I feel like the older I get, the less afraid I am to speak my mind, or be honest with a friend. And as scary as everyone claims turning 30 is, there's something kind of magical about it. It's not just a number - it's a new mindset:) I was oddly excited about it, and now that I am 31, I do see a difference in my 30's self v. my 20's self:)

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  10. Great post! I'm also approaching 27 here soon (July 12th).

    I couldn't agree with this any more,

    "Some people never grow up. Some adults never grow up. I've realized this about some family members lately. I may not support everyone's decisions, but it doesn't mean I love anyone less. It just means I am an adult and I care what I think of me. I shouldn't care of what others think of me."

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  11. This is such an amazing, personal, deep post and I love it. The part that stood out to me the most was:

    "Do you know how important that is?! To reach inside of yourself and discover who you are?! Vastly important. Hugely important."

    I definitely think that the people around you who surround you for most of your life influence parts of you, but it's up to YOU who you want to become and once you discover who you are, you should definitely never have to apologize for it. AMEN to this post, and thank you for writing it :) Hope you have a great start to your week!!

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  12. I love this post, Sierra! I needed this reminder too. I'm growing up drastically! 30 is right around the corner in a few weeks! I would be lying if I said I wasn't in any sort of panic. :)

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  13. Sierra, this is a beautiful post...very wise at your "old" age! :) If I could add one word of wisdom: please don't call yourself "old" (someday you'll understand why I said that - (wink).) I'm so glad that you know who you are and the holy spirit allows you to stand for what is right. You are a precious, delightful soul who I am blessed to have met on this journey!

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  14. I agree completely! Well put :) Crazy how we get older and realize and have different outlooks on SO many things. Heck I'm only 22 and feel like so many things have changed for me. Most important thing is to be ourselves and not let a soul change us! Love this. A lot. :)

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  15. Such a beautiful post, and so well written! I love your choice of quotes too. I think following your own path is a constant challenge, but it is so worth it!

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  16. There is a wonderful quote that I remember from communication courses in college in which a stretched brain can never quite go back to its old shape once filled with new thoughts and ideas. And the same can be said to your post- getting older and discovering more about yourself and learning more about who you might become makes it impossible to go back to the younger version of you.

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  17. This is an awesome post, Sierra! Sometimes it is so hard for me to put into words how I feel in this bizarre decade we call our 20s. It is so full of change and discovery and realizations. It's a roller coaster of a decade. :S

    Your words about making your own decisions and staying true to yourself, without letting other people define you, really spoke to me. My first half of my 20s was me trying to be who my dad wanted me to be. I was pre-med for him, instead of journalism. I lived at home, even though I ached to have my own place. It wasn't until I was 25 that I finally realized I'm ME!

    As tumultuous as the 20s have been for me, I have to admit, I'm NOT looking forward to my 30s...lol.

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  18. I spent so many years allow what other thought about me, my choice, my life, define ME. But, I know the only one who CAN define me is Jesus!!!! I am who I am because He gave me life. I'm learning to embrace it and run with it. :)

    LOOOOOVE this post. You always hit the nail on the head. ;-)

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  19. Hey girl! Love this post and the quote at the end!

    Also, CONGRATS on winning the giftcard from Print Your Party! Email me at ashleyborysewich@gmail.com for more info!

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  20. What an amazing post! I so agree. Ha, and I recognize the last picture. ;) I just love it.

    I think growing up and becoming an adult is a process that is different for everyone. Some believe that once you turn 21 you are an adult and grown up. Maybe legally you are considered an adult, but seriously in real life?! Never. Every day brings something new, makes you choose, and automatically change your life and opinions, because you learn. You never stop learning. You should never, that's for sure. Some people stop after they graduate college or feel it's time to stop learning, but life is all about that. We learn and we grow up. No matter how old we are. Even with 60 we can still learn and grow in what we just learned. Unfortunately, yes, some never do this, and therefore never seem to grow up and act accordingly. Sad but true. And I heard you when you wrote:
    "For most of my life I let what others said about me define me. I let what my family members said about me define me." And today I stopped, or am still trying to stop this.

    Just because everyone around you (Parents or friends, or all kinds of relatives) believe in something doesn't mean you have to agree and believe in this too. Just because they say something is good, doesn't mean you have to say the same. Just because they say it is cold take a jacket with you, doesn't mean you have to take a jacket with you. You may freeze later on, but it's up to you to experience this and learn from it. If you learn and keep that lesson forever is up to you but it's up to us to grow up and make our own decisions and learning each day.

    Awww, I could go on but I think this already turned out long.
    Just an inspiring post!
    Thanks!!!

    xoxo

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