Jul 9, 2011

my on going journey to happiness

I'm currently in Northern California sitting at Pete's Coffee while BK is giving his best at a new job site. I've loved being on the road and honestly all of our adventures have made me so thankful for life, so thankful for him, and so thankful for all of this glorious nature. When we went on a hike yesterday for 7 miles (pictures and more on this later,) and before we left we watched 6 dear in the meadow munch on grass. They looked so happy and peaceful and I wondered what their secret to happiness was and this time I knew. I finally felt that yesterday, more than ever, that I truly felt blissful.
I admit I haven't always felt this way. People call me positive, happy, and bubbly, but I haven't always felt like these three descriptive words. I have gone through my down times just like everyone else. In fact - I feel like the happiest people sometimes know how to disguise their aching hearts underneath it all just because they don't want to burden people. They want others to be happy so unfortunately they put on a false face, showing everyone that they are happy when in fact there is something deeper going on.
I've slowly discovered that is not being genuine and real. You need to let people know when you are going through a hard time and hurting, otherwise how else will you become stronger? I am a strong believer that going through something (illness, hard time, change) does not make us weak. In fact - when you are at your weakest, you really are at your strongest. Why is that? Because you aren't a quitter. You have chosen to get through this agonizing time in your life. Believe me - when you are going through this moment, you think you will never get through it. That is why I was always frustrated with comments like: "Don't worry, it won't be like this forever," or "Why don't you look at the positive things in life?" Sure, these are helpful comments, but unless you yourself have been in the situation, it's really hard to put yourself in someone's shoes.
That's why when someone comes to me needing advice or help, I try my utmost to never be judgmental or unkind. I don't know exactly what they are going through. I don't know their pain. I may have been through a similar situation but never the exact same. I only know that I have to give my all to be there for them. However, don't surrender yourself to other people's problems, which brings me to another topic.
Don't let people walk all over you. Don't let people control you, or let your friends control you. Your identity is not based on what people think of you. It is not the end of the world if a friend doesn't ever call you back and your friendship ends. It is not the end of the world if you get laid off or fired from a job. It may hurt you, yes, but it will not destroy you. You control how people make you feel. Let me repeat that. You control how people make you feel. Yes. You do. Don't let your emotions control you. Respect yourself and tell others how you feel in a kind way. Simply pick yourself up and become a better and brighter you. You deserve it because you are a wonderful person. Believe in yourself.
This leads me back to happiness. Since I've been applying these beliefs in my own life, I've seen my life improve immensely. I'm no longer afraid to show others when I'm hurting, within reason of course. I don't spill my guts to everyone - I make sure that person is safe and trustworthy first. I've unfortunately learned the hard way by wearing my heart on my sleeve. You don't have to tell everyone everything for them to be your best friend. In fact - I keep my so called "secrets" close to my heart now as opposed to wearing my heart on my sleeve. It's only brought my heartache in the past because I thought I trusted someone only to realize that they would later use my "secrets" against me instead of making me feel safe. That is not a true friendship. That is not a true relationship! When you find a friend or loved one who holds your fears close to their heart, it is then you have found someone you can trust.
Happiness is a constant work in progress I think for many of us. We have to choose to be happy and to be happy we must be willing to take a leap. We choose who we want to marry and choose which profession we are a part of. These two elements are a huge part of happiness and we own the power to decide. Once we find that special place - happiness is very attainable. I'm happy to say that I've finally found my happy place. I feel content and every day, instead of waking up, dreading and wondering where life will take me next, I'm excited that life is taking me somewhere exciting. To get there I rely on my God, my faith, and my goals and ambitions. If I fall or get sad again - I remind myself that I'm not weak. I'm strong and I will get through this. If you are reading this and you are going through a struggle, you will get through this too.

22 comments :

  1. I seriously love this post. I think one of the most damaging things people can do is to dismiss others' pain with well-intended comments like "Your life isn't that bad" or "Cheer up!" It's like when you tell someone that something they said hurt your feelings and they immediately say, "Oh, don't take it personally" or "Have a sense of humor. It was just a joke!" Comments like that discount other people's hearts. Because, of course, who wants to be the humorless girl who can't take a joke? "I know exactly how you feel" is another one. You're absolutely right. We DON'T know how that other person feels exactly and we don't know what's really going on for them. I'm always amazed to hear the secret pain people are hiding behind the "I'm great. How are you?"

    I'm so glad you took the time to write this. It's really wonderful and it's given me some stuff to think about today.

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  3. What a beautiful post! I couldn't agree more - being sick/sad/etc. does not make us weak at all. It makes us human! I am so glad you have found this and the happiness that comes with it:)

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  4. I love this post! It was so encouraging - thanks for sharing!

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  5. Beautiful post! I completely agree with all of these, but most of all happiness is definitely a constant work in progress.

    xo katie elizabeth
    ohheyylife.blogspot.com

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  6. This is such a powerful timely post. I think everyone struggles to create their own version of happiness, but you make some great points about how not to find it! Being true to yourself is always important. I always comfort myself when I'm in a sad situation with the knowledge that it will end eventually

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  7. You know my thoughts on this topic and I just have to say you wrote this out beautifully. And yes, We control how people make us feel. It is as simple as that, just something I know we all forget this! :((

    xoxo

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  8. So very true my friend.
    I am so glad this journey of yours has taught you so much. I am happy for you, proud of you, and excited for what else the future holds!!
    You are far from weak.... you may be one of the strongest people I know. So carry on my friend!! And just remember.... when the rain pours down, the sun is just around the corner ready to come back out and shine down on you :)

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  9. Such a beautiful and amazing article of inspiration. Yes I do believe that we are strongest when we feel we are at our weakest. It's how you get through it that counts. And faith has always pulled me through! :)

    I will tweet this!!!

    XXX

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  10. A beautiful post indeed! I'm so emotional reading it all. You are one special lady!
    xoxo

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  11. You are so well spoken and smart, Sierra. I love reading your inspirational posts. They really speak to me. I totally relate with what you said about sharing things with others. I learned as an adult that it isn't best to always seem like you're ok when you're not. I guess the problem comes in because I would "act" like I was ok, but I wasn't. I would burden a few people with all of my problems and unload too much. I'm trying SO hard to not let others control my emotions like you said. Thanks for writing this.

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  12. Beautiful post! I do want to get back to nature but the BF thinks it's stupid and would rather be in loud dirty cities. Boo!


    Stop on by for a great giveaway! http://www.beholdthemetatron.com/

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  13. "I feel like the happiest people sometimes know how to disguise their aching hearts underneath it all just because they don't want to burden people." this is so true, what a beautiful post. i am so happy that you found that peace and bliss. you deserve all the happiness in the world.

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  14. I needed this post. Badly. Your words are truly an inspiration. Because I feel like I have been pretending to be happy for so long that i'm starting to hate myself for being "fake." When in reality I just don't want to burden everyone with my problems all the time. I'm tired of being the unhappy girl, you know?

    But I also need to learn that in order to find happiness, like you did, I need to realize that it comes from within. I think I read a quote somewhere that kind of fits into what you were saying: "Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you choose to deal with it."

    Thank you for this post.

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  15. This is a beautiful and inspirational post. It seems like the older we get the more we seek for peace and there are those few moments we are blessed to get where we could truly appreciate it. I'm glad you are enjoying Northern, CA. Can't wait to see those pictures. Be safe.

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  16. Great post! I know that one of my biggest weaknesses is that I let people walk all over me. If my parents tried to teach me one thing it's that I need to stand up for myself. After all of these years I am still trying to work on it.

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  17. lovely post. I am your new follower, follow me back please.

    Looking forward to read your update posts

    Sacha x

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  18. Oh sweet friend, I'm so glad you're feeling happy these days! You deserve all the happiness in the world. xoxo

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  19. Hi sweet Ocean dreamer! I hope you are enjoying all the beauty surrounding you in CA. I've been mia for a while...bad storms brought power outages. All is well now and I'm so glad to read about your happy adventures. I love this post. It seems we are on the same wavelength again! You are precious in His sight!

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  20. So happy you've been enjoying your time with BK and doing some real soul-searching. I don't think it's weak to admit we're struggling, because it's showing that we're survivors, going through the struggles in life but managing to pull through. I'm a firm believer in the idea that God never puts us through anything you can't handle, and of course, the old cliche that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Can't wait to hear about more from your travels/hikes :)

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