Feb 15, 2012

your happiness within yourself - guest post by Bellaisa

Want to find love? If you haven't found yourself yet, then finding yourself should be your top priority! I have seen many people who get into serious relationships before they really know who they are, and I have also seen a lot of heartache and anger in the relationships and with themselves because of this.

There are two main reasons that you need to find yourself before you find love.

Your Happiness with Yourself

The most important reason is because you are going to be with YOU for the rest of your life, and you should know yourself and love yourself if you want to be truly happy in life.

We often think that in order to be happy we need to find love, but that’s not true. If that was the case then everyone in love would be happy! We all know that there are many people who have found love but are still not happy!

It's much easier to find yourself without the distraction of a partner. You can focus on figuring out your likes and beliefs, and focus on figuring out where you want to be in life, all without having to compromise with someone else and base your decisions around what they want as well.

My best friend got married at a very young age. She had no idea who she was yet, but she knew who her parents wanted her to be! She ended up becoming an unhappy person in an unhappy marriage, and it wasn't until 12 years later that she got out of the marriage and started to figure out who she really was.

At the present she is still in that process, when she really should just be growing happier every day. She can't be happier every passing day because she is not happy yet. Her life has been full of what other people want her to be and she has no idea where the real her lies in all of that mess.

So, find yourself before you find love. You want to really find out who you are and get a sense of what direction you are going, and start moving in that direction. Your happiness will thank you!

Your Happiness with Your Partner

If you haven't found yourself yet then how can you know what kind of person is really going to be a good fit for your life? How do you know who is going to be someone who will want to go in the same direction as you or end up in the same place as you?

When you know who you are and what you stand for you can look for someone who fits that idea as well. Instead of saying "I don't want someone who does this or this or that" you will have a good idea of what you DO want, and that will be what you end up looking for and finding.

When you find love with someone who relates to you and gets you there really is nothing better. They understand where you are coming from and the support you in getting to where you want to be. They don't put down your ideas, beliefs, or feelings because they understand them and support them.

When you have found yourself and know who you are, it’s really easy to see the people that would compliment you and your life, as well as to spot the people that would just make you miserable. And of course it's easy to avoid the people that make you miserable because you will not allow that into your happy life!

So, if you are single and looking to find love, then take some time to really find yourself first. The short time that it takes to figure out who you are may result in a long time of happiness with yourself and your partner that wouldn’t be there if you didn't find yourself first. It's worth the effort and the short wait in the long run.

About the Author: Bellaisa gives out relationship advice for women and men, including how to find love. Get her new FREE eBook titled - 45 Things to Do To Keep Your Relationship Alive by clicking here.


  1. Great post. Completely agree, if you haven't found yourself and you get into a relationship then you can completely lose yourself in that which only creates a unhappy relationship. I definitely know a few people who are single now and realizing that they really need to take the time to know themselves fully before hopping into another relationship.
    Great post, really enjoyed reading this!

    The Urban Umbrella


  2. Great post!! thank you so much for commenting on my blog leading me to you!!! this is amazing!!! i agree, find yourself first then love!! i keep trying to tell my friends but not everyone agrees i guess :)

    love K

  3. So true!! People need to be happy with themselves before they can make someone else happy.

    Jayme @ Her Late Night Cravings


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