Apr 18, 2015

Why Intimacy Goes Beyond the Bedroom

As BK and I get closer to being together 8 years...yes 8 years, I've found myself thinking a lot about intimacy in our relationship, and intimacy in any relationship for that matter. After being with the same man for almost 8 years I've not only been blessed to feel an intimacy that makes me feel completely loved and adored, but an intimacy that goes beyond what happens in the bedroom. For some people they may find after much reflection that they're in a relationship that's solely based on sex, but I'm here to argue that being a relationship is such more more than that. Here's why intimacy is so much more than what goes on in the bedroom, and what intimacy means to me.

1) Great Conversation

When BK and I met the one thing I really like about him right off the bat was that he was just so easy to talk to. And he still is. Our conversations have always flowed and we never run out of things to talk about. This is especially great when I am in Arizona, because believe it or not BK is the talker in our relationship, and I do a lot of listening. We talk about our lives, world news, movies, our family, Candy, and whatever else we like to talk about. BK loves to know the ins and outs of everything, so often we have very long conversations and I love it. A great conversation can take you far...especially one day if you have limited mobility and you and your significant other need to entertain one another. Find someone you can talk to for hours and you'll never get bored!

2) Affection

Affection for me means hugging that person, giving them a quick kiss on the lips, or laying next to them and not necessary touching them, but having the comfort that they are there with you. I love laying by BK while we each watch our own shows on our phones/Kindles, or having Candy in between us while we all cuddle together. It truly is the best feeling in the world. Intimacy for me is not only being intimate sexually, but being able to be affectionate with my best friend when I'm having a bad day. I also love to give BK a hug whenever I feel like it, which is nice since we both work/study at home. It's nice being able to go around the corner and give him a quick hug while he's working away and vise versa. Depending on how affectionate you are, find and stick with some sort of affection you both can look forward to daily.

3) Enjoying the Same Hobbies

BK is definitely an outdoorsy guy, and through the years I have learned more and more to love the outdoors myself. We both now love to hike, bike, go to the ocean, and go walking with Candy of course. We also love to eat out (a little too much I might add), walk around town, or get a salad to go and have a picnic lunch. Having the same hobbies is nice because we never run out of things to do, but at the same time we can do our separate hobbies (ie me going hiking) whenever we feel like it. It's nice feeling the intimacy from sharing things that we both enjoy, and I love the fact that we both can go on a hike because we both love the same thing. If you have the same interests and hobbies, life is more fun together!

4) Sharing a Love for a Fur-Baby (or Child)

Since Candy has come into our lives BK and I have grown closer because we both adore Candy and naturally we both love taking care of her. It has been fun seeing that caring side of BK and BK gets to see the puppy mom in me. Plus it has given us great practice for if/when we have kids one day. Try getting a fur child if you want the "practice," but honesty sometimes I feel like Candy is just as much work as a child, simply because she's so needy and I love her just as much as I would my own child! If you have children or fur-babies of your own, allow them to help your relationship grow as you become excellent parents together!

In closing of course I think sex is good! Who wouldn't! ;) It's great if you have that sexual chemistry, because obviously a relationship needs it in order to work long term. However, what happens if you can't have sex for a while due to a health reason, or you're having a long distance relationship for a time (hello Mer and Der from Grey's Anatomy), or you both get busy? Don't base your relationship on just one form of intimacy, because there is so so much more a relationship can offer you. If you're in a committed relationship I hope you both find an intimacy that you feel satisfied with, both emotionally and physically. I'm thankful I have, but of course BK and I are always learning, growing, and improving our intimacy together!

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