Apr 26, 2015

Why You Gotta Be So Mean

Mean people suck, don't they? They go around and try to suck out other people's happiness, all because they're jealous, insecure, or unhappy themselves. People like this don't usually make good friends, and they also try to wreak havoc in your life by bringing you down and making you feel like something you're not.

Lately I've had a slew of people I've worked with who have been this way. I've had clients drop me out of nowhere, tell me basically that I'm not good enough, and treat me unkindly because they feel like they can. I get that businesses have to make business decisions or call me out on a mistake, but it's when people are mean and not professional about it is what rubs me the wrong way. Or when I know I didn't do something wrong and they insisted it was me. Where's the trust?! A few times I stood up for myself, but a few other times I just let it go. However, since I've had such a bad streak lately of mean people it's starting to affect me. I mean, after dealing with that so many times how could it not affect me? (Yes I'm going to include TSwift gifs in this post.) ;)

via giphy
I'm trying so hard to just push my feelings aside. The bigger person in me just wants to let it go, but the angry person in me is still a little bit bitter. And it's hard for me to trust that future work won't be the same.

Don't get me wrong, I've worked with a lot of GREAT people that I got along with fabulously. And I am still working with some incredible people. When I start letting the negativity get to me I remind myself that I do have people that appreciate my talents and that I shouldn't let the negative experiences sour the rest. It's just that if I were to be honest the negative comments always sting the most, don't they?

And here's another thing. Freelancing = communication via email, Skype, and the phone sometimes, which gives mean people an excuse to be mean. They know they can't see you day to day. They know that if they say something tacky or hurtful that you have to just shrug it off because they are paying you and for the most part they think they can get away with it. Also, what if you believe in the site or brand you're working on? You just can't leave them high and dry, now can you? I've been in a similar situation like this a few times now.

I don't know why but I've had horrible luck with a few people in particular, and instead of cutting out I've held on because I believed in the site, wanted to make more money, or I had faith that things would get better.
via giphy

Will things get better? I hope so. Will I find more amazing people who appreciate my skills and talents? I really want that. I need that. How can I learn from this going forward? Well, I can refuse to be treated unkindly and I can stand up for myself. For most of my life I've allowed people to step all over me.

"You're so sweet Sierra."
"Thanks for being there Sierra."

You're welcome?! I've improved with my boundaries and they're always a work in progress, but it's still very much a struggle for me. I want to be there for people but I need to learn to say no. To put myself first both personally and professionally while still being a stand out freelancer. And you know what? That's okay and I can do it.

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate...fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake...I'm just gonna shake it off, shake it off, off, off, off... (Yes I know I'm covering two totally two different songs in this post, lol.)

via giphy

Yes I love Taylor Swift and whenever I start getting overwhelmed with mean people, I'm going to shake it off and also sing "Why you gotta be so mean..."

I already feel a lot better.

FOLLOW ME ON:

5 comments :

  1. mean people are the worst! ike you said, focus on the positive!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Freelancing = communication via email, Skype, and the phone sometimes, which gives mean people an excuse to be mean. They know they can't see you day to day. They know that if they say something tacky or hurtful that you have to just shrug it off because they are paying you and for the most part they think they can get away with it."

    As a freelancer myself, I deal with my fair share of mean people who, essentially, walk all over you. It's true, there is no repercussion for them, as they don't see you from day to day, and think of you as a virtual punching bag, so to speak. I try to execute tact when dealing with people like this - being polite, but firm. Does it always work? No. But it keeps me from feeling frustrated. Stay strong babe!

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hang in there, darling... Things will get better.
    Thanks for visiting!

    xoxox,
    CC

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's definitely hard to let go when your pride takes a hit. The worst thing is that if you do manage to move on without firing back, you still don't feel any better about it :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Sierra, I'm so glad to visit your site, it's awesome, as always! Yes, I too can relate to this post. Sometimes people can be so mean. I think that's because they might be having a rough day or bad week or year haha, and they want to take it on someone, and when they find someone who they think is weak, then they try to step all over them. It has happened to me lately, but then I realized that what I needed was to study on how to be more assertive, and it has help me be more confident towards rude people. There are many books on how to be assertive. Hope it helps dear friend. xoxo Rocio

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment love! Candy sends you and puppy hello (aka barky bark)!